A frog and a limey walk into a bar [Francis]

He still really couldn't believe that he had agreed to come and do this, no less actually spent time dressing himself up to look nice; not for Francis of course, mostly because he knew at this particular small lounge/bar thing that his colleges and patients tended to hang about. No need looking like a ruffled hooligan.

It was a very low-key place, with a large bar with stools while booths littered the edges of what appeared to be some kind of dance-area. Arthur made a mental note to give that path a wide berth. Besides that, it was made up of low red tones and golden accents and the music was a mere low thrumming noise.

Peering around curiously, Arthur swallowed a little. So... Now what? Did he just have to stand here and wait for Francis to appear? Go and look for him? Where people staring, okay, people were watching, he recognised a few faces of nurses and waved awkwardly, smiling a little as they waved back. They looked rather nice in those dresses...

Francis stood up from his seat at the bar, smiling widely already and making his way over to Arthur quickly. "Kirkland!" he called, throwing an arm around him and pulling him close. He may have already had a few glasses of wine- (and maybe a few of some stronger alcohol). "You finally showed! I was worried you were going to stand me up~"

He had actually taken the time to dress up a bit as well. His red dress shirt was pulled up to his elbows and even though he normally wore black slacks to the hospital (when he wasn't in scrubs)- these were a bit special. He only normally wore them out on a date.

And this counted as one, non?

Unexpected to say the least. Arthur hesitantly and awkwardly pat the Frenchman's back (that's what people did, right?) "Um, hi?" he said, worming away from the Frenchman, smelling the alcohol heavy on his breath. "And I wouldn't be standing you up without at least calling in advance..."

Leading them both towards the bar and ordering a gin and tonic, Arthur flopped into a stool, sliding off his large coat, draping it over the chair beside him. He nervously fidgeted with his own clothes -a simple white-dress shirt that didn't smell like the hospital and a thin light-grey sweater he had yet to have coughed or oozed on.

"So..." he prompted, "Mr. Bonnefoy, you... come here often or- I don't know know..."

"Loosen up mon ami!" Francis gripped Arthur's shoulder, shaking him loosely and smiling more. He slid over a mixed drink while they waited. "Salut and all of zat and formalities are for ze office-" his accent was much thicker- a certain inablity to pronounce his 'ths' correctly showing terribly.

Giving a slight wink, he turned back to the bartender, waving a hand for another. "And it would not be ze first time I 'ave been stood up. I do come 'ere whenever I can really. It's pleasent to unwind~"

Sniffing the drink before taking it, sipping nervously, Arthur hummed a little at the sweetness. Now confident that there wasn't any drugs or anything inside of the drink, he took a longer sip. "All the time..." Suddenly all the mornings where Francis was late and showed up in a sour mood made sense.

This made Arthur smile and he looked over at the nurses again, waving a little more confidentially, watching them giggle and lean closer to gossip among themselves. No wonder Francis came here often, but really, just a few drinks. Nothing more, he didn't need to lose his composure twice in one day in front of the Frenchman, but in this state, Arthur believed that Francis wouldn't be remembering very much.

"Yes, very pleasant... How long have you been here?"

The Frenchman took his second drink as soon as the bartender set it down with Arthur's gin, throwing it back in a few long swallows. He set the glass back down with a slight slam and glanced over at the girls, blinking. "Mmm..." he arched an eyebrow. "I think zey may very well be jealous of moi~" he purred, chuckling and swirling the tiny amount of liquid left in the bottom of his glass.

He looked back at Arthur and blinked as if he had just suddenly remembered the question, grinning slightly. "Only... a half hour? Hour? Hard to keep track 'ere really..." he hummed again, long and drawn out as he rested the side of his face on his palm. Hazy blue eyes watched the Brit quietly.

"You interested in those girls?"

The man certainly had the drinking talent of the oldest and most well-drunk pub-crawler Arthur had seen. He put the mixed drink aside, taking the clear liquid, throwing it back and shaking his head a little at the taste. It was almost impossible to resist the urge to place the glass at his flaming neck.

"N-No-" Arthur managed, shaking his head, "They hang around my office and patients a lot, I just know them is all... And why would they be jealous of you? You're just having a drink with me. It's not exactly thrilling."

"Oh, on contrar. I am keeping you all to myself~" Francis hummed, raising up a hand and twirling it slightly in the air to prove a point. "Ah. And they probably think you are gay."

He gave another another wink, humming quietly to himself and glancing over at the women, waving his fingers at them and blowing a kiss at them. "Of course... I do not know zat. You may very well be or you may be straight~" he eyed Arthur, one eye closed. "I 'ave... always sort of seen you as asexual myself."

Arthur blinked. "Me? A gay?"

Now there was certainly something he had never asked himself. Did he fancy men or women? Neither had really been on his radar when holed up in libraries reading, or in a classroom absorbing information or even during his clinic session when it wasn't about hitting on the patient, but rather making sure that the aches in their spine wouldn't turn deadly.

Asexuality didn't actually sound that bad. "I don't actually know." he said, quite honest, "Never really cared to look..."

"I knew it!" Francis crowed, laughing loudly and smirking. He regained his composer and leaned close to Arthur, hunching over conspiritorially. "You're... a virgin then too- non? I mean it would only make sense- so into your work zat you can't do anything but..." he murmured softly.

The Frenchman grin grew even more, he'd definately be collecting on bets tomorrow. No way someone could work so... innocently for so long without even a little friendly flirting! It was inhuman!

Or, asexual. In Arthur's case.

"I hardly think that's relevant..." Arthur murmured, tapping the bar for another drink, "But yes, twenty-three and a virgin. Never really had time for friends let alone a partner. Could you imagine, trying to balance a persona' emotional and physical needs while trying to earn a Master's?" He shook his head, "you'd have to be daft."

He leaned against the bar, picking at it. "Doubt I'll ever really be with anyone," he said quietly, "I'm not really of the sort to settle down... I suppose it's as the saying goes, married to my job."

"Mm... I'm older than you?" Francis stared at Arthur, arching an eyebrow and trying to mull over the idea in his mind, not getting much further with the thought than taking another sip of a new glass of alcohol. He leaned over a little closer sizing the brit up and licking his lips. "You know I... could help you with zat little... virgin problem," he murmured.

This was probably a little more blunt than he'd normally be- Francis was never the type to just laid and stray, he had always at least tried to pursue a relationship. Of course, when that failed... Well damn the consquences. "No attatchments... No one ev~en has to know..."

Arthur blinked. Once, then again. "Alright, who put you up to this?" he asked, a little sharpness to his voice as he leaned away from the Frenchman. This was ridiculous, he did not come out for a drink to be the subject of bets are such! It was an insult to his pride and he was considering taking his new gin and tonic and spilling it over Francis' front.

Instead, he took a tentative sip of the clear liquor. "And I'm not letting you shag me. Ever. I will like Ver live in my office before I even step foot into your house, or mine, or wherever we would go to have sex."

Francis blinked, quirking his head slightly as he started to pull back, the grin slipping off his face. "Put me up to..." he formed the words slowly, having a slightly hard time to comprehend them. He huffed a little bit as the Brit blatantly denied him and picked up his glass again, hunching over the table and swirling it.

He hated getting denied.

"No one put me up to it," he muttered, lips against the glass and his eyes closed. "It was... a real offer- but... an unwanted one, I should 'ave known.

"Why would you offer to have a good shag with me?" Arthur asked, now curious that the Frenchman was hunched over, quiet and appeared to be... pouting? All because of this rejection of sharing a bed? This was an interesting turn of events to say the least and the Brit found himself watching his intern quite intently.

"You said no commitments. You'd get nothing out of it but sex, certainly that can't be a good enough reason for embarrassing yourself in front of your superior. Are you really that drunk?"

Francis slowly drank down the rest of his drink, shifting his hand and holding the rim carefully as he set it down, swallowing the last of the burning liquid. "I am actually really not that drunk," he murmured, glancing over at Arthur and watching him. "Unlike you might think, I can hold my liquoir. And I offered because I obviously want it and... well, you could use it."

His shoulders raised in a slight shrug as he sighed, tracing along the rim of the glass and sitting up slightly. He ran a hand through his hair and pulled out the hair band, letting it slide onto his wrist. "No offense. You just work too much to be healthy."

Arthur was more concerned with the first statement and he resisted the urge to say "Saving lives is a full-time job, maybe you should try it sometime!". Instead, his fingers trembled a bit and he put down his glass before it slipped from his grasp. His heart was beating quickly and he couldn't figure why his body was suddenly doing... This!

A cough caught in his throat and he thumped his chest a little, clearing it. "You want to have sex with me!?" he said, voice rising, causing a few people to look over and the Brit's face heated up.

Francis was more than a little shocked by Arthur's reaction and he sat up, looking the the Brit curiously. "Ah... just- calm down, hm?" he tried to comfort quietly, smiling weakly at th eyes Arthur's question had drawn to them. "Oui... oui I do but it is no.. hassel- just forget I mentioned it, really."

He groaned silently even as he forced a smile for the Brit. He was comforting someone as they denied him? The Frenchman was well aware that he could never force anyone due to how he was raised but to actually... console them?

Sometimes he thought he was too nice.

"Why?"

It was perhaps one of the most honest questions Arthur had ever asked someone. He stared, wide-eyed at the Frenchman. This was really something Arthur had never heard uttered from another human being, no less someone he had actually made an active effort to bite, ego-squash and emotionally batter everyday.

And he wanted to sleep with him?

Blue eyes stared openly at Arthur as Francis tried to work out the simple, one word question. For some reason he was having trouble understanding it and he questioned if he really may be that drunk. He shifted slightly and scratched at the bar counter, licking his lip. "Why?" he echoed, shaking his head. "I... does there 'ave to be a reason?" he murmured quietly.

"I suppose- I find you attractive," he shrugged. "You are not too nice to be but- I think you just need to loosen up. I should 'ave kept this attraction quiet... huh?"

This was all harkening back on his boarding school days.

God the nuns when they found out.

"I don't even know..." Arthur shook his head, ordering a gin and tonic with two shots of the gin. He carefully folded one leg over the over, facing Francis completely, fingers interlocking over his knee, holding it. His green eyes scanned the Frenchman's face, looking for any sighs that he was sick or anything that would excuse this radical behavior.

No. Nothing, he seemed completely fine, just nervous in every inch of his movement and line of his body. "You're attracted to me despite the fact that I practically stomp on your self-esteem everyday..." It wasn't a question, but a statement, reviewing the facts. It was a symptom, but of what?

Of love?!

Good God had just just thought that? This wasn't some cheesy chick-flick his sister always made him watch while he tried to read up on the effects of pollution on lung development of children. Letting out a quiet breath, he shook his head.

"I suppose... I'm rather flattered."

"Well when you are raised by nuns and openly gay," Francis had to smile a bit, albeit weakly. "No offense, you don't quite scare me like them. You don't have rulers."

He chuckled quietly, turning to face away from the Brit and a little more than unnerved as Arthur faced him fully. That posture was all too common- Arthur was diagnosing him. The damned Brit thought he was sick for just asking him- since when was asking someone out for a night of fun and pleasure a symtom of being sick? Sighing slightly, he shook his head when the bartender asked if he wanted another, his stomach curled already from the alcohol and converstaion.

But... flattered?

Eyes going back to Arthur, Francis blinked again, arching an eyebrow. "And... what exactly does your version of... flattered mean? You aren't going to report me are you?"

"Report you?" Arthur waved a hand, laughing lightly. "Don't be daft, I said I'm flattered and I'm pretty sure that word has positive connotations." For the first time, Arthur smiled at the Frenchman and it wasn't mocking, smirking, condescending or simply halfhearted. Just a small, quiet and warm little grin that made the edges of Arthur's eyes crinkle slightly.

Finding himself running a hand along the back of his neck, Arthur shook his head slightly. "I just mean to say... It's quite nice... No one's ever really called me attractive save a few patients but that was just a passing comment, something added along with a 'good job, thank you for helping me'."

"Maybe that's why I work so hard... I like feeling needed."

"Feel like... you are needed?" Francis found the comment a little strange, never really associating the job with need yet- he was still only an intern and really didn't honestly do anything that a real doctor couldn't do himself if he had the time. He shifted slightly and hummed, watching Arthur again. "Well... You know I would probably go insane, or just off myself if you weren't around," he grinned a bit himself. "That enough need for you?"

A laugh sprang from his throat and he shook his head, lightly shoving against Arthur's shoulder. "And you should see the way that the nurses stare at you. Maybe you're just too naive to see it. You are rather attractive Kirkland."

"Too naive?" Arthur allowed himself his own laughed, leaning on the bar, "I always thought I had something between my teeth or something on my face..." He blinked up at Francis, smirking a little, "I'm very socially incompetent at times, you'll have to forgive me..."

He swirled his drink around, taking a small drink of it, his cheeks now staying the light pink as his posture slowly started to relax. "I think you'd be fine in the end, you just need to get your head out of your ass sometimes... They're just people like you Francis, sick and they need people like us to help them."